ja und nein

what a contradicting chaos she is

doesn't dig living greatly, she feels guilty

to force another soul to live

yet very often her mind drifts

to a tomorrow where her kids are having fun

in the garden, chasing their dad

she sits there watching them on the grass

till the sun goes down and gab: it's mealtime

look at her, a confusing paradigm

claims that she doesn’t want any help

yet very often in pain she yelps

when things get hard and she's overwhelmed

she prays for somebody to hold her hand

to gently tell her: i'm right behind your back

to support the choices she makes

to shake the negativity out of her

who knows what the future has to offer

impermanence assures everything changes

affection, loyalty, interest

will one day weaken, vanish, disappear

where she found love she found fear

of being left behind by whom she keeps in her heart

never dare to forget to remind

herself to neither rely nor trust